


Little Red Riding Q

by CMDAK



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: M/M, Multi, Possessive Alec, Possessive James, Vampire James, Werewolf Alec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-10
Updated: 2016-04-10
Packaged: 2018-06-01 10:39:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6514750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CMDAK/pseuds/CMDAK
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Being the Quartermaster of MI13 is not that easy, especially if you love wearing a red coat with a hood while crossing a werewolf inhabited forest, on your way to the agent who's a vampire. But Q loved all four - title, coat, werewolf, and vampire - so he put up with everything that was thrown his way. Even a thorn covered werewolf who either drooled over his coat and a vampire whose fangs fell when he was hurt.</p><p>Edit: changed the ending. Sorry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Little Red Riding Q

**Author's Note:**

> MI13 is a rumored branch of the MIs which is said to deal with the supernatural. Since 007 and 006 are not human, I decided to make Q the Quartermaster of 13 instead of 6. It seemed much more fitting.
> 
> Please forgive the mistakes and enjoy~

There it was; that sweet, sweet smell of plastic, gunpowder, car oil, and city that he loved so much. Every time he sensed that cocktail of happiness, no matter how deep he was in his sleep or forest, it had him running towards the man that emanated it, literally running through trees to get to him faster.

 

He never jumped on the man directly from his run no matter how tempted or excited he was, afraid that he would accidentally crush the frail man’s bones and internal organs, killing him in a gruesome way. But he still made sure to run by close enough to him to send that ridiculous red cape coat he insisted on wearing, loving the way the man’s breath hitched and his muscles tensed, bracing himself for the pounce that never came.

 

“I really wish you’d stop doing that, Alec,” the man that could have him expose his belly in both wolf form and human form with nothing but a single glance grumbled, pulling his hood down and turning to glare at him – and how much Alec loved having those green orbs focused solely on him. “And I see that today you opted to run into trees _and_ thorn bushes. Wait, don’t shift just yet; let me clean you up first.”

 

Alec moved closer to him and Q pulled out the pair of tweezers he had started carrying with him since the day he realized that he was stuck with the werewolf, carefully pulling out the thorns and splinters that Alec wasn’t really aware of because of his muscle mass and fast healing factor.

 

“I am starting to suspect that you are doing this on purpose,” Q said in his usual soft murmur and Alec admitted to himself that he was right. In fact, to ensure that he had Q just for a moment longer, he had dug a hole which he filled with thorns in which he always jumped on his way to his meeting Q. “And if I find out that to be true, I will start sending one of my minions to equip you and that other pest.”

 

Alec let out a loud howl and wrapped his arms around Q, pulling him to his chest and hugging him as tightly as he could without breaking anything. He didn’t want a stranger to come into his forest, even if that stranger was a boffin who carried tools to save their lives. Heck, he didn’t think any other boffin but the supreme leader himself would be bold enough to come to this part of the land so late into the day and outright scold them or treat them as if they were normal people – and if they were, Alec would make it his personal mission to scare them away.

 

Actually, he had tried to scare Q away because of how young he was when the Quartermaster mantle had been thrust upon him, before he got addicted to his smell, his brain, his voice, his touch, his everything. Now when he thought about it, he had the strong urge to hit his head against the strongest rock that he could find, but back then it had seemed like the best idea ever and the only way to properly pay homage to the previous Quartermaster.

 

When the old man had retired and the new Quartermaster was announced, Alec ripped the papers to shreds. He didn’t care that the old Major could barely sit up or that he needed two pair of glasses to read things properly because as far as he was concerned, the Major was the only human he would ever trust with weapons of syringes around himself and his partners.

 

He tried his best to get M to see that he was right, but the Banshee refused to listen to a word he said. “The Major was the one who asked to be retired and personally picked the young man who is now cursed  with taking care of you lot,” she claimed, but he knew better. He knew that she had forced the man to retire and picked someone with no personality or backbone because she was jealous on the old Major for the huge amount of respect he got from the agents while she had to screech to get them to listen.

 

“If the Major is not my Quartermaster anymore, then I have no Quartermaster,” he growled and shifted into his wolf form, covering his ears as best he could when he ran away from her office so her bloodcurdling screams wouldn’t render him deaf and thus, effectively ground him in Medical for the next few months.

 

He ran back to his forest and hid in his cave, thinking. In order for someone to become the Quartermaster for real, it took a lot more than a naming from the head of the MI13. No, for one to truly become the Quartermaster, one had to visit every agent in person and strike a deal with each and every one of them, the agents deciding if they would do so right off the bat or after putting the contender through a series of tests. And Alec planned on testing him first, laughing at him as he ran back to the Banshee with his metaphorical tail tucked between his legs.

 

The man entered on his turf a lot faster than Alec had expected, and on a night with a full moon which showed just how ill prepared and foolish the wannabe Quartermaster was. And Alec took advantage of the full moon that tripled his powers to the max, howling so loud that the trees around him shook and lost quite a few of their leaves, following the scent that annoyed him back then right to the middle of the field that stretched in front of _his_ forest.

 

He stopped right in front of the pathetic figure dressed in the red cape coat, towering above it and making sure to get as much drool as he get on it. But he did not smell fear or other things that usually followed such a meeting and instead of whimpers and sobs, he heard an annoyed sigh.

 

“Do take a few steps back from me, 006,” the posh voice commanded. “I like this coat quite a lot and you are ruining it with your drool.”

 

Alec blinked and then crouched, sticking his face really close to the man’s and snarling, making sure to let the moon light reflect off of his sharp teeth. That should have made the man start screaming and begging for his life, but all it did was make the frail main push his snout away after shoving a few mints in his mouth.

 

“I really don’t have time for this, 006. I have to help 007 get ready for his new mission,” the man said patiently and walked around the huge werewolf, showing him his back. No one was advised to do so before the striking of the deal, MI13 still remembering the early days when their agents attacked those who were not respectful enough or those who they considered a threat.

 

Tempted as he was to just rip the red coat, Alec instead jumped over the man and landed in front of him, pushing him down with his head and resting a paw on his chest. He growled low again and brushed his neck with his fangs, hoping to get a whimper. But all he got was an annoyed sigh and a flick of his snout.

 

“006, I do not scare easily and if agent 007 leaves before I give him the equipment, he might get seriously wounded on this mission,” the man snapped at him, taking his glasses off and rubbing them against Alec’s thick fur to clean them. “Do you want that to happen?” Alec let out a whine and backed off because 007 was his partner and he cared for him a lot more than for the old Major. “That’s a good boy,” the man said as he pulled himself back up on his feet and brushed his coat, looking annoyed when he realized that he had grass stains on it. “I’ll send you the bill for washing this,” he grumbled under his breath, stomping down the pathway that led to 007’s manor.

 

Alec got to strike the deal with the man two weeks later, after he watched him make his way to his cave from a safe distance, expertly avoiding the traps that he had set up from him and finding the right path no matter how many times Alec tried to lead him astray.

 

“I’m Q,” the man said simply as he finally pulled his hood off to reveal a very young face that was already tired, “and I am your new Quartermaster.”

 

Alec sniffed the man’s hand to memorize Q’s smell before shaking it in his human form. “You are the most foolish man I have ever met,” he scolded Q, eyes narrowing when he saw the green orbs roll behind the glasses. “Who in their right mind offers their back to an unknown werewolf when the full moon is at its peak in the sky? I could have ripped you to shreds before you were even done inhaling”

 

Q snorted. “You could have, but you didn’t and who in their right mind becomes the Quartermaster of MI13?” He shot back and Alec had to agree that the runt of a Quartermaster had a good point. “Now, how are we to strike our deal? And don’t try to trick me by saying that I have to kiss you or spend a night flush against you because when Bond tried it, he ended up having to use the fake fangs that I made for him until his new ones sprout out.”

 

Of course, Alec took that as a challenge and ended up whimpering in discomfort for about ten minutes, while Q sat on top of him and rubbed his neck, listing all the things that he wasn’t allowed to try with him and the countless ways he could hurt him.

 

That night sparked an interest in Alec –and later he’d find out from his partner that he too was intrigued with him – that grew and transformed into a huge crush and then outright infatuation over the months that followed, both werewolf and vampire amazed about the frail human’s dedication and protectiveness towards them. He even got hurt once because he went head to head with a golem that was pretty close to ripping 007 in half and crushing his skull, ending up in a full body cast for three months.

 

Q from the present tapped his nose gently, brow arched. “Alec, were the thorns dipped in poisoned silver by any chance?” Confused, Alec shook his head and Q sighed, pushing his head back a little. “Then stop spacing out and also stop squeezing me because I kind of need to breathe.”

 

When Alec realized that Q was actually gasping for air, he jumped back and whined in apology, rubbing his head against the ground. He mostly blamed his wolf form for wanting completely hide the man in his fur – as his human mind said that it would be best to whisk Q to a magician and have him clean his mind of all things supernatural in order to offer him a normal life- and keep him protected from all the evils and dangers they faced on a weekly basis, even if Q was more than capable of defending himself.

 

But could he be blamed? Was there any fault in him acting like this when he thought about how the young human had looked on the ground, bits of the golem getting soaked in Q’s still worm blood, the sound of the magic that held the clay together and made it so dangerous getting drowned out in the sobs of pain and gasps of breath, his blood – both human and animal – boiled and his protective instinct kicked in? Not as far as he or his partners were concerned.

 

“Alec?” Q called and the werewolf realized that he was now standing a few good meters away from him, frowning. “Are you sure you’re okay? I don’t have the medical kit with me.” He rolled his eyes, Alec grabbing his hands before he could face-palm since the last time he did that, he had cracked his eyeglasses. “Maybe I should call James over here and take you to medical to—”

 

Medical for him was worse than a bath in pure silver and the only time he had willingly gone in there without being emotionally blackmailed by Q’s worried looks, smell, and voice, was when the man needed to be there. So he ran towards him, threw him on his back and dashed towards his partner’s manor, grinning when he heard Q’s subdued giggles and felt his heart beating faster in excitement and joy.

 

***

 

The last time James had tried to impress someone so hard was when he was still human and his commanding officer was a beautiful woman who seemed interested in him and who was coming to his little apartment for dinner. Well, okay, the last time he tried so hard with someone that wasn’t Q, because he pulled out all the stops every time the man came over, with little to no success.

 

But Q, for all his genius when it came to gadgets and knowledge about how to take down all sorts of different supernatural beings, was completely unaware of how creatures worked when they were wooing or when they were creating their version of a family. And something told him that the willowy man was as daft to romance when it came to humans as well – but that was for the better because neither James nor Alec wanted someone they considered unworthy to waltz away with _their_ Q.

 

And it wasn’t just his or Alec’s paranoia that got him to use the best wine, food, cutlery, and invite Q to candlelit dinners with them every time he was free, showering him with their full attention and all sorts of little gift from the times before the great wars and genetic engineering that mixed the blood of so many and revealed the existence of the supernatural – and how ironic that science did that, he thought amusedly. There were countless other people who were after Q, both men and woman, who either had none, one foot, or both feet firmly planted in their world and none interested the man nor did they _smell_ right.

 

A loud howl interrupted him before he could get consumed by his own thoughts and he walked out on the veranda just in time to see Alec land with Q clutching tightly to his back, face hidden in his neck and body convulsing with laughter.

 

With ease, James picked Q up from Alec’s back, draping a robe over the werewolf who was shifting back to his human form, arranging Q’s glasses and hair. “I thought that a wolf had led you away from the right path to my humble home, my brown haired red,” James purred, brushing the back of his hand against Q’s red coat, starting to play with a button.

 

Chuckling, Q swatted his hand away, stepping back right against Alec’s chest. “You do realize that you are calling yourself the grandmother, right? If I am Red and Alec is the wolf—”

 

“I’d never eat you like that,” Alec interrupted him in a rough whisper, pushing his face against Q’s neck.

 

“Of course you wouldn’t eat me; I’d get stuck in your throat since I am practically a skeleton,” Q joked, allowing both creatures to help him out of his coat and guide him inside the manor. “Oh, James, you cooked my favourites again!” He took a deep breath and his stomach growled, his little smile instantly dropping from his face. “What the bloody hell did you do this time?” He demanded, hands on his hips.

 

“Q, you insult me,” James purred, pushing Q towards the table with the chair and draping one of the silk napkins on his lap. “Would I ever try to—?”

 

“Yes,” Q deadpanned, glaring at him. “You made me a sandwich after our first mission together, when you managed to lose everything, your fake fangs included.”

 

“Which you promptly shoved down my throat and stomped away, thus managing to get yet another spot to show how young you are,” James chimed in, flinching for the sake of it when Q stomped his foot for being interrupted. “But you cannot compare this dinner with a sandwich, darling Quartermaster.”

 

Q huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. “I am not comparing it with that sandwich; I am comparing it with all the other dinners that came after that incident, most of them nothing more than you trying to get me too full and sleepy to give you a decent scolding.”

 

“Not that it works,” Alec pointed out as he filled a huge plate of Q’s favourite things and put it in front of him, putting a fork in his right hand. “And you know that we feed you every chance you get, not just when we accidentally completely destroy your toys.”

 

“Plus,” James continued, dragging his nails down Alec’s neck, practically squishing Q between them, “we were forced on a two-week downtime, remember? So this dinner is the normal type, not one in which we try to pull the metaphorical wool over your eyes.” Except that one time when Alec had bought a horrible wool sweater – that Q actually loved because he was an eccentric hipster – and actually pulled it over his head the second James presented him with a tray of nothing but melted titanium with a few wires sticking out.

 

Q thought for a moment and then instantly relaxed, his shoulder sagging and his lips forming a little smile. “I do have to apologize for being so suspicious, but earlier this week 004 insisted on springing a most interesting surprise on me that almost gave me a heart attack.”

 

004 was a dead nymph. Nobody, friend or foe, scared or caused this much trouble for their Q – well, except for them, but they really didn’t do it on purpose and the young man never really smelled truly angry with them; just scared when they had a particularly nasty wound that refused to heal instantly or that dripped with silver.

 

James had a wound like that the first time he met Q. He had hidden it from everyone, of course, Alec included because he knew his partner would insist on licking it clean and the silver that coated his deep cut on the chest had been mixed with crushed wolf’s bane and the werewolf had only recently finished recovering from almost losing half of his skull due to an explosion.

 

Nerves stretched thin due to the horrific pain he was feeling and the fact that the ones who had done that to him had gotten away, he outright snapped when he realized that the scrawny human with the posh accent was presenting himself as his new Quartermaster.

 

“I don’t deal with creatures that are still in diapers,” he had growled right against Q’s jugular, impressed that he was not pissing himself. “I don’t know how you managed to get here and it is only because of that that I am giving you a chance to leave this place on your own feet.”

 

He expected the young man to break into a run the second he stepped back, but all he did was rearrange his glasses and pull out a napkin to wipe his neck. “I was informed that you loved drama, but I was unaware that you were the bloody drama _queen_ , 007.” He narrowed his eyes when the vampire hissed right in his face and James assumed it was annoyance up until Q gently pressed his finger right up against his wound. “We have a medical branch, you know,” he said dryly.

 

“I do not need a doctor; it will heal on its own in due time or with fresh blood.” James had tried to sound imposing, his words lashes against the man’s very soul and leave marks in the form of nightmares that would haunt him for weeks to come. Instead, what came out were pathetic gasps that had the man rip his jacket and shirt off. “I broke fingers for less,” he gasped out and Q snorted.

 

“And we had vampire agents in medical for less, 007. And yet here we are, you bleeding silver and,” he leaned close and sniffed, button nose scrunching up in disgust, “wolf’s bane. Bond—”

 

He grabbed the fragile hand hard, but not enough to break anything. “I am _not_ going to Medical, Spots.”

 

The man frowned, confused. “Spots? Now I know that you are so ancient that when you were born, humanity was still struggling to create a decent computer,” a growl met with an eye roll, “but you couldn’t have forgotten that my name is Q because it is just a single, bloody letter, that’s also the first one of my new position.”

 

“I am calling you Spots because you are covered in them. That’s how young you are. And spot covered children are not my Quartermasters!” He didn’t really mean to use a lot of force, but blinded by the pain, he pushed Q away so hard that the man gasped when his back connected to the wall and James thanked all the creatures in existence that he didn’t hear anything crack.

 

It took Q a moment to coach his pained face back into the unimpressed one. “You call me a child and yet you hide in this house because you are afraid of the mean old doctors,” Q mocked, James holding back from pushing him back up against the wall only because he saw the subtle way he flinched when he moved to the satchel he had discarded by the main door. “But you are lucky enough to be dealing with you _Quartermaster_ and not a doctor, so take a sit and act your bloody age.”

 

The only time Q smelled of fear was when he had cleaned his wound. He moved slowly, muttering apologizes and reassurances under his breath, probably forgetting that James’ hearing was above normal and he could hear anything.

 

“You’re not the one who did this so stop apologizing,” James said after what had to be the fiftieth time Q cringed and apologized, startling him. “Vampire, remember?” He tapped his ears and Q scowled.

 

“It is not polite to remind the other when it is something personal,” Q grumbled, checking the wound to be sure that it was properly clean. “You should have gone to Medical for this. And how did you get it? Our records show that you were in your downtime, not on a mission. I am here to equip you for your next mission. How can I send you on a mission when you are like this?” His voice was a pitch higher and his heart was beating faster, eyes slightly bigger and the green a shade brighter, all clear indicator that he was panicking.

 

It was touching and it made him feel something that might be confused for actual guilt. The Major always forced him to go to medical; he never patched him up, not that he blamed him or thought any less of him. He did visit him if his stay there got extended, but he was always calm because he knew for sure that James was out of danger. But this Q, this child with trembling hands covered in blood that was not his, had gone a step above his duty to make him comfortable.

 

It was clear that he was worthy of his title and that he was more than a simply puppet placed in the position by M. “Quartermaster,” James said slowly as he took Q’s hands away from his chest and started to clean them with a piece of his own shirt, “A pint of quality blood and I will be as good as new.” He tugged the man closer, fangs peering out from the gums. “I’ll be so gentle that you’ll think I only kissed your neck and you’ll ask me to do it again.”

 

Q moved a little and James suddenly found a bag being shoved in his mouth. “0077, I am your Quartermaster, not you lunch bag.”

 

No one could blame him for trying, right? “Our deal has not been struck yet, Spots.”

 

“Old man, my name is Q. The first letter of Quartermaster.” He leaned close and tapped his head, brows furrowed. “Q, not Spots; can you force that sponge you have for a brain to remember a simple letter?”

 

James grabbed his hand, tugged him closer and spat the empty bag of blood. “Before I get my sponge to work, why don’t we strike our deal? Just so that title you keep throwing in my face actually means something?”

 

Q nodded without hesitation, the brave young man that he was and asked James how they were supposed to proceed. Now while some creatures actually had rituals, in which specific lines were said while drawing on each other’s bodies, with James a simple handshake was all that was needed. However, since James was James and Q was pleasing to the eye with his boyish figure and brave eyes – but also because the vampire was dead set on proving to him that he was too young and too trustworthy to be the actual Quartermaster no matter how caring he was or a genius, as the letter had claimed – he lied.

 

“The deal can be sealed with a kiss, my little human,” he said as he pulled Q in his arms, their noses almost touching. “Just a peck and nothing more, don’t worry. My fangs won’t prick your skin, soft as it is despite its marble white.”

 

He drew closer still and ended up with a knee lodged between his legs and a hand rested against his still healing chest, although Q did not apply pressure there. “007, first you try to scare me because you and that bloody wolf think that it can actually be done after which you try to turn me into your new wallpaper—”

 

“You’d be a horrible wallpaper choice for my manor since I like dark tones of blue. However, you’d be a lovely bed—”

 

“If you finish that sentence, I will rip your balls, wait for them to grow back then rip them again,” Q hissed. “Now tell me: are you accepting me as your new Quartermaster so I can properly equip you, or are you simply wasting valuable time?”

 

James chuckled, impressed. Since he was a synthetic vampire, he was missing some ‘gifts’ that being the case with ‘glamour’, but he was still handsome and charming enough to be able to get kisses from almost everyone, especially after he revealed that he was a vampire – humans, women especially, had a soft spot for his kind and even craved to be in their favour, a result of tons of romance books that had them as the main romantic interest.

 

“I can’t fool you that easily, now can I?” He asked as he slinked closer to Q once more, hand resting on his hip. “True, a deal with me does not involve a kiss, but at least an hour spent pressed up against each other on a soft surface, so that I may sync our heart beats.”

 

He started to guide Q away from the hallway and the man was relaxed under his touch. “A bed would be the perfect kind of surface, right?” James barely held back from grinning as he nodded and Q hummed, leaning a bit closer to him. “And to get a perfect synchronization between us, I am assuming that it would be for the best if there were no clothes between us, right?” James nodded again and regretted it instantly.

 

Now James would find out later that Q was strong despite looking like twig, the clothes he chose to wear enhancing his scrawny look – because he liked to be comfortable and not to have his every movement restricted, he had explained when James had managed to convince him to try a suit that had been made just for him and that had both vampire and werewolf drooling even more than before – but the reason he had managed to knock his fangs out of his mouth this time was because of silver poisoning.

 

“Oh my— you bloody idiot,” Q hissed when he realized that he was indeed looking at the vampire’s fangs on the ground and that he agent who was supposed to be leaving for a mission in less than five hours was holding his bleeding mouth. “The silver actually managed to get in your blood stream!”

 

“You elbowed me like you were trying to knock my head off my neck,” James accused, mentally kicking himself for sitting with the silver over his opened wound for so long. “It’s your fault!”

 

“My fault?” Q asked slowly, hissing like an angry cat. “Excuse me but I wasn’t the one who was trying to get you naked just because. You had that coming,” that he did, “and if you weren’t scheduled to leave for a mission, I would pull out the rest of your teeth as well, just to see you hooked up to an IV in medical. Maybe I could even convince them to try and ‘infect’ you with some common sense and decency!”

 

It looked like Q was going to explode, his face red as were the tips of his ears and if he were a dragon, James was pretty sure that he would be spewing fire through his mouth and blood out smoke through his nose. But Q was human, one with an actual brain in that pretty little head of his and after taking a deep breath and pinching the bridge of his nose, he sat James down, hoped on his lap and implanted temporary fangs.

 

“Tell me, Red, do you always walk around with these? Or where you planning on visiting your dear old grandmother with a strange denture after you were done with me?” James joked, running his tongue over his teeth, testing to see if the fangs would actually stay in or if they’d fall off at the smallest of movements.

 

“If I am Little Red Riding Hood, then _you_ are my grandmother, since you are living in the middle of a forest in which a pest of a slobbering wolf is living.” He pushed James’ head back and stuck his hand in his mouth, pressing on the gums above the fangs, humming as he studied them. “I am surprised that I got the right size, since I was actually hoping to get your opinion on this prototype of mine.”

“Prototype?” James asked, trying to slide his hands down Q’s back, the man clicking his tongue and hopping off his lap.

 

“Don’t you learn anything, 007? I got the silver out of your wound, fed you, and fixed your denture. You are no longer hurt, so I will not hold back from hitting you if you dare to treat me in such a disrespectful manner. Understood?”

 

James nodded and held out his hand. “You were crystal clear, _Quartermaster_. Now, you were telling me about these prototype fangs?”

 

That wouldn’t be the last time that Q would amaze him with either his bravery or his mind and he was quite happy to see that his partner was also slowly becoming smitten with their Quartermaster, the human stealing their hearts for good when, instead of running and abandoning them as it was expected of him when they appeared to be really defeated, he fought and destroyed a Golem, barely getting out of it alive.

 

But that was Q. A foolish human who cared for all of his agents, be they human or otherwise, and that clearly had a soft spot for him and Alec, since he was constantly at odds with M and the board of directors, fighting to keep them on MI13’s roster and off of its black list. In fact, Q promised them from his hospital bed, his weak whisper almost getting drowned out even to their ears by the constant beeping of the machines which let the doctors and nurses know that he was still very much alive, that he would protect them until they would lay him to rest in the cold ground.

 

James had hated that grim reminder that Q was always within Death’s cold and merciless grasp, the day when the hated Reaper would finally sink its bonny fingers in his soft flesh known only by the fates – and the bloody creatures refused to tell him or Alec anything, spinning their yarns deep in their mountain as they raged and begged and pleaded, until the Cyclopes saw them out.

 

Q’s moan snapped him out of his thoughts and he turned to look at his beloved human just as he was licking his fingers. “For all your faults, Bond, you are the best cook in existence.” Alec let out a little whine and Q moved to scratch him under his chin even though he was dealing with him in his human form. “You know I love your desserts the most, even if that first one ended on my coat instead of my plate.”

 

“I was aiming for the flying rat,” Alec defended himself and James jokingly hissed at him. “But I cleaned you good afterwards, didn’t I? And I paid the cleaning bill.”

 

Alec always did because Alec always did something to stain the red coat, as if he had something against it. Well, truth be told, they both had something against all of his clothes because Q never took them off in front of them.

 

“I’m leaving, so R will be the one taking care of you. Please don’t cause the woman any grief and try to respect her at least a little,” Q said suddenly, mid bite and both James and Alec chocked on air.

 

“I promise to never ruin your coat,” Alec said as he jumped up from the table and went to grab the piece of clothing, hugging it tightly to his body. “I’ll walk around with you and bite everyone who’s dirty and who dares to come too close to you when you are wearing it.”

 

“And we know that we started off on the wrong foot, but we honestly don’t do things just to annoy you or to make your life harder,” James added, squeezing Q’s hand in his. “Things just happen on the field, as you are more than aware. Or maybe...” James trailed off and frowned, Alec already in his wolf form as both of them got the same idea. “Tell me, Q,” James growled low, pulling the confused man on his lap and pushing his head in his chest while he ran his hand down his back, “did anyone dare to go back on their deals with you? Is that why you are leaving?”

 

“I should have expressed myself better, my bad. I am leaving on a _vacation_ ,” came Q’s muffled voice from James’ chest. “But I will take Alec up on half of his offer; the part where he stops trying to ruin my coat, to be more exact as I do not want to find myself fined every day for not having him in a leash,” he continued, managing to move his head enough to tilt it back, his lips brushing against James’ chin when he talked.

 

That was an entirely different story, but it still didn’t mean that James was inclined to let Q go, especially since it felt like the man was getting more comfortable and Alec had pushed up against them, nuzzling their necks – and James mentally kicked himself for not managing to bring back the machine that was supposed to stop time from his last mission like Q had asked, because that meant this warmth that both he and Alec were feeling could have lasted for an eternity.

 

“So don’t worry; you two won’t have to waste your time trying to come up with new scaring tactics. I’m still your Quartermaster,” Q assured them, chuckling. “And although I am touched by your reactions and grateful for your trust, I hope that you’ll not be too saddened by the day in which I—”

 

Alec covered Q’s mouth, pushing him harder against James. “So, for how long do you plan on depriving us of your presence and where do you plan to spend your vacation?” Q didn’t even get to try to muffle something in reply because his mouth was already running. “For that long? I don’t think we’ll be alive when you come back from that horrible, expensive place you. But hey, I have—” Alec stopped suddenly and let out a whimper, James realizing that Q was trying to bite the werewolf’s finger to get his hand away, accidentally making him even more turned on that he already was.

 

Q felt his bad move more than anything and both creatures were on the other side of the room in a flash, Alec letting out a low whine. “Q it did it on its—”

 

“I know how bodies work,” Q interrupted Alec, hand held up in a silent plea to be allowed to finish his idea, “even better now that you two have an allergic reaction to just the mention of Medical, so I’d appreciate it if we were to skip over this embarrassing moment and if James would not bare me or Alec a grudge over a normal body reaction?”

 

He could have walked in on them wrapt in the throes of passion, with Alec moaning out Q’s simple name while the man withered in pleasure under or above him while biting on the sheet and James still wouldn’t have any grudge against them. He’d ask if he could join or watch and if he were denied – in which case neither of them would have gotten that far because Alec and he had a deep relationship which Q respected a lot – he would probably allow himself to get lost in the delicious sounds they made.  

 

“Darling Q, in my deepest nightmare induced by a magician I wouldn’t be able to hold anything against you or Alec.” He turned towards the werewolf and they grinned at each other, drawing their sharp talons over their necks, the thin scratched healing almost instantly. “In fact, I’d be worried and even help you drag him to medical if his body didn’t react to you the way it did.”

 

“I wouldn’t even put up a fight,” Alec added quickly, taking a tentative step towards Q and feeling relieved when the man didn’t immediately brandished whatever amazing defence weapons he had in his pockets. “Might I finish my suggestion? About where I think you should spend your vacation?”

 

“Well, I had planned to spend my _five_ free days, which also happens to include the weekend,” Q’s voice tone indicated that he didn’t consider the period to be that long and both creatures were inclined to agree with him because this would be Q’s first vacation in three years, “in my _home_ ,” cue Alec feeling bad for calling Q’s house a horrible place despite never having been there, “with a book, but I am open for suggestions.”

 

“Take at least two weeks off and stay here, with us,” James said simply, arm wrapped around his shoulder. “We have more than enough rooms, you pretty much already have a laboratory here so there’ll be no problem if you suddenly want to build something, and my estate combined with Alec’s turf is huge and there are a lot of hidden places that can be considered little pieces of heaven you still haven’t visited if you feel adventurous. What more can you want?”

 

Q tilted his head to the right a little, a few strands of hair falling over his glasses as he started to think and James was sure the human was trying to find a reason why he couldn’t stay. The first time he had managed to convince Q to spend the night – not with him in the same bed, but in the room next to his, in his own bed – was after he had returned from a mission and found out that he was the forth agent he had visited that day.

 

It was clear from a mile away that he was dead on his feet and struggling to keep his eyes open, the only reason why he hadn’t fallen asleep in the forest on his way to him being that Alec had managed to convince him to accept a piggyback ride and Q had dozed off for ten minutes there – well, more, because neither of them had the hard to wake him up and Alec had curled up in front of the fireplace as James draped the softest cover he could find over the exhausted genius.

 

He had woken up confused and scared, needing a second for his brain to recognize that he was not in danger. Alec had sat as still as possible, trying to breathe without being noticed under the panicking man and getting his tail stepped on for all his trouble when he inhaled some ash and sneezed – but he had also gotten his tail patted and wrapped in a carefully made bandage, as well as his back scratched for that entire night.

 

“You, as our Quartermaster, take care, protect, and nurse us back to health when we are too stubborn to go to a doctor. It is only normal and even expected for us to do the same in return,” James had argued as he guided Q to a room. “Am I the last agent for tonight?” Q thought for a moment, pushing his glasses in the soft bird nest that was his hair before nodding. “And do they expect you in your office tomorrow? Because I am sure they’ll pick you up and drop you off in medical if you actually show up and you know that they won’t let you near anything until you start looking human again.”

 

It was a promise more than a threat and it was enough to get Q to nod weakly, falling asleep the second his body hit the bed. Alec carefully took off his shoes and James removed the jacket and the belt he thought would make Q uncomfortable and the covers up under his neck, taking off his glasses and allowing himself the luxury of running his hands through the wild locks of brown hair.

 

“M might not let me take that many days off, even if the other agents are working perfectly with the teams of boffins I created for them in case I got sick,” Q huffed, running a hand through his hair. “Mind you it is my own fault for deciding to take this vacation now of all times since we have a new Prime Minister and he’s focusing on MI13 more than he should, but—”

 

“For all her faults, that Banshee has you in her heart almost as much as we do,” Alec interrupted Q, invading his personal space as much as he could without outright gluing himself to him. “I am sure that she’ll give you as much time off as you want, new fart in the PM seat or not. Stay with us, please?”

 

Alec’s ‘puppy eyes’ had Q’s fingers twitching, trying his best to hold back from touching him, probably not wanting to make James think that something really was going on between them after the earlier incident – it wasn’t hard to believe that James would have to explain to the workaholic human who never smelled like anything else but himself and friendly touches that when two or more people were in a physical relationship, the way their smells mixed was different and much more pronounced.

 

Taking Q’s hand and placing it on Alec’s head for him to make it clear that everything was okay between them, James called the banshee to get her on their side and make her give Q as much time off as he wanted. And, as expected, the woman was more than happy to agree to his demands.

 

“ _But he better return rested, happy, and still a human, or else I’ll personally impale you and bathe that fleabag that looks like he wants to dry-hum Q’s leg constantly in a tub of silver,”_ the banshee warned, James’ phone melting in his hand from her screeching.

 

***

 

He knew very well what possessed him to agree to stay with them and his father was sure to give him a stern talking over the phone for allowing his feelings to cloud his judgement. He was a simple human and those two devoured the souls of all who fell for them without meaning to and if they were interested in him even a tiny bit as his father thought they were, his title wouldn’t stop them

 

Ridiculous, Q thought to himself. They had each other and all three of them were good enough friends for them to know better than to insult him by asking him to join them in bed for curiosity’s sake, even if it was to satisfy Q’s curiosity – because for him, a mere mortal, it was no longer that. It wasn’t just curiosity and he cared for them more than a Quartermaster should, more than a friend could, and completely differently that a family member.

 

“And then you have your own feelings to take into consideration,” his father said slowly, resting his wrinkled and shaking hand on top of his, skin rough from all the things he had built in his role as the Quartermaster. “I know that you are as stubborn as they are and that you will do whatever you want no matter what I say, but if you stay there with them for so long—”

 

“We’ve been on missions together in the past and I managed to keep my feelings in check,” Q said stubbornly.

 

His father nodded and squeezed his hand, eyes filled with patience. “Missions are different and you know that, especially since you are so worried for them that you don’t dare allow your brain to focus on anything else but the mission for fear of losing them. But now...” His father trailed off and Q huffed.

 

“I am sure that won’t happen, father. You worry too much.” And he finished packing his bags and drove to James’ estate in his tiny car that he loved so much – and that Alec couldn’t fit in when he was in his werewolf form – and did his best to focus on relaxing and not his feelings.

 

However, his feelings did not stop him from getting annoyed with the two, especially since it was becoming clearer by the day that they had developed the nasty habit of hiding his laptop for fear that M would go back on her word and actually try to contact Q or give him little tasks that were not related to the world possibly ending.

 

And that was why Q was currently trying to get on the manor’s roof for a second time in two days, wearing nothing but his underwear and anger. “Bond, I swear to all the powers in the universe that I’ll stake you in your sleep,” he shouted as hard as he could, flinching and almost falling when the vampire appeared right in front of him, annoyingly huge smile in place.

 

“You said that yesterday,” James said casually, grabbing Q’s arm and walking him up to the top of the room. “And besides the fact that I don’t do the same things twice in a row, I am not the one who hid it today.”

 

Q groaned. If it wasn’t James, than it must have been Alec and the werewolf liked to use caves as hiding places. “I need to check my mail and pay my bills,” he whined, shivering when the wind started to pick up.

 

James wrapped an arm around him and in a blink of an eye they were back in Q’s room. “I doubt you get bills daily and if you do, just give me the names of—”

 

“007, no,” Q said sternly, wagging his finger in front of the vampire’s face. “It’s the first week of the new month so that means that I get a bill from each service that I— wait, why the bloody hell am I explaining myself to you?” He snapped, frowning. “It’s my laptop and if it’s not on the bed by the time I finish with my morning shower, I will go to a place where my things don’t get stolen aka _my house_.”

 

“Well, your apartment could get broken into and—”

 

Q slammed the door as hard as he could and ditches his underwear, allowing himself to feel embarrassment only then. His father had taught him lots of tricks to keep his emotions in check and Eve, the darling secretary that was a witch – no crooked nose or cauldron, but she did have a black cat which she loved more than her gossip – had helped him become even better at that the second she found out about his most unfortunate crush.

 

Out all of the people and creatures in the world, he had to fall for those two idiots, she had said and Q nodded miserably, wishing that he could move his hands so he could hide his face and himself from the world. And if he could hide his heart from them so it would stop trying to skip a beat or two when he saw them, things would be perfect.

 

But the heart did what it wanted when it came to love and no matter how hard his brain argued with it, Q still ended up with butterflies in his stomach every time they touched him or looked at him as if nothing else existed in the universe. And when he just thought of the way they touched each other... Well, he was thankful the water turned ice cold in with a simple turn of the knob.

 

He walked out with a bathrobe that was too big for him and was not surprised to find a sullen Alec sitting at the foot of his bed, holding out the laptop to him. “James said that if I don’t give you this back, you’ll leave.” He sounded like a sullen child and the light pout he had made it so easy for Q’s mind to picture how he had looked when he was young. “But if M calls because 009 needs a tiepin, you’ll leave anyway.”

 

Q chuckled, hugging his laptop. “M won’t call me for that, Alec, so please relax and stop hiding my things? I’d hate to lose what little I have or go back home and find myself having to pay extra to get my electricity back.”

 

Alec was in his personal space in an instant, nuzzling his neck and hugging him tightly and Q was sure that if he was in his wolf form, he’d see his tail wagging. “If that happens, then you can move here with us,” he said excitedly, lifting Q off the floor. “Think of how awesome it will be to live with us forever and not worry about rent or whatever because we’d never ask you for that.”

 

“Alec—”

 

“No, no, listen, I promise it is a great idea!” He put Q down on the bed and kneeled in front of him, taking his hands in his. “I know you don’t like the apartment that MI13 allowed you to live in and I remember hearing a conversation between you and Eve about how sad and grey the neighbourhood is.” Q arched and eyebrow and Alec chuckled nervously. “Yes, I eavesdropped, but it is kind of hard not to when you have hearing as fine as mine and a voice as sensual as yours. You would have done the same if you were in my shoes.”

 

He was very much right, but he didn’t need to know that. “Alec, that is not your offer to make and I...” And he would end up revealing his feelings and everything would be much more awkward between them and their friendship would be ruined. “I am a human.” There, that seemed to be like the perfect excuse to use, cruel as it was.

 

James’ hands were suddenly on his shoulders and his lips on his ear. “I have nothing against you moving in with us and your humanity is just another thing we _love_ about you. And we love many things about you, including you yourself,” James whispered, brushing his lips against Q’s cheek as Alec nuzzled his palm and kissed it.

 

He let out a shaky breath and he lost control over his heartbeat and he knew without a doubt that his carefully guarded secret had been exposed in that second. He should have listened to his father, he thought as all children did in these types of situations. “I have some bad news for you if the only reason you asked me to spend my time off here was so you could see how a Quartermaster feels for a single night.”

 

James pushed his head towards his, lips almost touching. “Then it’s a good thing that our plan was a long term one, right?” He took a deep breath and grinned, Q satisfied with only rolling his eyes and pulling his hands free to arrange his bathrobe. “And something tells me that you’d be more than happy with this idea of mine?”

 

“All of your ideas are terrible, Bond, and I have no doubt that this is no different from all the others.” Both men started to pull away, looking disappointed but ready to accept his decision, so Q hurried to grab them, ending up with his hand in James’ mouth and the other on Alec’s earlobe. “If this goes south, will you still accept me as your Quartermaster?  Because I am not about to give up on my position, nor would I think of demanding that you two renounce your double oh statuses.”

 

“Surely you know about how devoted a vampire and a werewolf are to their life partners, Q,” James whispered, behind him once again, slowly rubbing his shoulders – and Q realized just then that his laptop was missing again. “So the relationship will never end because of us.”

 

Q stretched, hearing his shoulder bones pop and James’ hands slipped in his bathrobe, Alec helping him lie down on the bed. “And if I were the one to end it? Would you end my life? Go Dracula on me or...” He trailed off, frowning. “Sorry, Alec, I can’t think of a werewolf that became that obsessed with the person they were interested in.”

 

Sliding his hands up Q’s robe, Alec started to softly pinch his claves. “In the defence of all the authors in the world, it’s kind of hard to make a creature like myself be suave or mysterious like a vampire.” He started to drag his hands down Q’s legs, just a hint of claws on the soft skin. “But I promise that if you chose to end our relationship, I won’t lock you up in that secret part of my cave where James hid three cars he supposedly lost.”

 

The tension was back in Q’s shoulders and James let out a hissed cuss. “I am sorry, but could you repeat that last part again?” Alec shook his head and started to rub his calves harder and faster until Q pulled his legs under him and rearranged his bathrobe in such a way that only the skin on his face and mop of hair was visible. “James hid what where?”

 

“Two of them were before your time as Quartermaster and the third one was before we got to know each other,” James in his defence, rubbing the back of his neck. “M knows about this little habit of mine so you don’t have to worry about being charged with accessory to robbery or whatever.”

 

Well, that explained why the banshee hadn’t asked for his head when he entered with his head lowered in her office to let her know that James Bond had not only managed to steal the prototype that he had yet to finish, but that it was also resting on the bottom of the Danube. He thought the woman was going to have his head, because he was in charge of the security system of his own branch, but all she did was pinch the bridge of her nose and waved him out of her office.

 

“I am never giving you a car for as long as I live,” he promised, swatting the vampire’s hands from his back and shoulders. “And I’d like to take a look at the poor things and be sure that they hadn’t completely rusted and that my _predecessor’s_ work didn’t go to waste.” He was really going to punish them if the cars that his father had spent so many nights hunched over were broken beyond repair.

 

A hand over his heart, James got up and pulled Q after him, Alec a step behind them – they were clearly up to something and Q didn’t know if he should feel worried or excited about it. “I regularly check them and take them out for a drive on actual roads, Q, don’t worry.” He squeezed his shoulder and pulled him closer, Alec now walking by their side. “And now that Alec’s out of feet to stick in his mouth and we that we made it clear that this will not be a simple one-night thing, how about we finish giving you the massage in a more suitable place?”

 

Q smirked, and rested his hands on their lower backs, getting ready to hang on tightly to them as James would no doubt use his speed to take them in the blink of an eye to in the location this massage was to take place. “Don’t think you’ll bed me with just a massage and a few promises, Bond.”

 

James chuckled and Alec nipped his neck, nuzzling it. “Just a simple massage and nothing more,” he promised and Q lost his breath for a second and he suddenly found himself in a large room filled to the brim with candles that made him think of the sea, the large and heavy velvet curtains shut tightly, a soft song echoing off its tall ceiling, and what looked like a low bed in the middle it, with a few coloured bottles next to it.

 

“Either you don’t know what simple means, or this is much more than just a massage as you claim it to be, James,” Q said as he took a tentative step forward. “I was serious about me not sleeping with either one of you off the bat.”

 

Alec rested a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it. “We won’t do more than massage you if you don’t want to, Q. Your word is our law, even if it doesn’t look like that when we’re out in the field.” He gave Q an apologetic smile. “So will you entrust your tense muscles in our hands?”

 

Q nodded without hesitation and walked over to the bed, lying face down before taking off the bathrobe. He didn’t have time for embarrassment to register because James draped a small, fluffy towel over his exposed ass, running his hands through his hair and kissing his shoulder. “Are my hands cold?” He asked as he gently touched his shoulder and Q shook his head, genuinely surprised at how warm they were.

 

“Then how about mine?” Alec asked as he ran his finger down Q’s spine, warm as always, but still managing to make him shiver and be covered in goose bumps because of how gentle the touch had been. “Oh, you’re cold; I’ll just—”

 

“I’m fine,” Q said quickly, grabbing Alec’s hand to keep him from moving. “You’re fine and the room is warm enough. You can massage away, although it will be a very interesting thing for me as this is the first time I’ll get it from two.”

 

He realized how it sounded only after he heard the two men snort, but before he could say anything to defend himself, James was holding one of the little bottles in front of him, Alec pouring the contents of a similar one in his hands. “This is a mixture of lavender and rose oils, one meant for relaxation and the other for romance.” He let Q smell the bottle, pressing his lips against his forehead for a moment before pouring the oil in his hands and starting to rub them together.

 

“For this type of massage, if it was just one person giving it to you, they would have had to sit on you, knees on the mattress so they wouldn’t squish you, but because there’s two of us, we’ll sit on your sides,” explained Alec, both men running their hands down his back in smooth strokes, spreading the oil.

 

And Q sighed, already feeling relaxed as he focused on their hands and the soft music, the tension that had built up in his muscles finally being massaged away. They reached his shoulders and they started to carefully karate chop at them, Q laughing because he imagined the two men dressed as ninja fighting with his pain.

 

“Are you ticklish?” James whispered in his ear, both men stopping. “Do you want us to move on?”

 

“No,” Q purred without realizing, eyes still very much closed. “Only some areas on my body are ticklish and the shoulders are not them. Please carry on; this is the best one I have ever gotten so far. I might even recommend M to fire that butcher that managed to bruise my back and get my neck stuck for an entire day.” The men were now pressing their thumbs alongside his vertebrae and Q let out a moan of pleasure, just loving the way some of them popped and the feeling of relief that followed. “This feels so good,” he muttered, feeling that he was on the verge of sleep.

 

“You’ll find out just how good we are with our hands and other body parts,” Alec purred in his ear, nipping his earlobe. “But tell us more about this butcher. Where were we when that happened?”

 

“Well, you were in Transylvania to deal with the Brides and I believe Alec was busy dealing with that mad man from Siberia. Or maybe you were in Alaska?” He tried to sit up, but the two men gently pressed him against the bed, pinching a place next to one of his 5th vertebrae that instantly turned him into goo. “That’s cheating...” he trailed off and moaned when they pinched another zone, feeling like he was floating.

 

“The good kind of cheating,” James pointed out. “You were probably planning on going to search for your laptop to see where Alec was and probably get distracted by whatever projects you left in the hands of your minions.” His hands disappeared from his back and cupped his chin, an innocent peck on his lips. “And that, my darling and tense human, is something that we cannot allow because you are here to relax, not work.”

 

He couldn’t argue because James had read him perfectly. He wouldn’t have done it because he didn’t like all the attention that the two were giving him or because he was scared of the road down which they had started – even though he was a bit scared and just thinking about the way his father might react made him tense up again, afraid that the poor man might have an actual heart attack – but out of habit and need to be sure that the world was still safe.

 

“Q, do you feel comfortable enough for us to massage your buttocks? Or your thighs?” Alec whispered in his ear and Q realized that at one point, he had fallen asleep. “We won’t, if you don’t want to,” the werewolf added, mistaking Q’s grogginess for hesitation.

 

“It would be too soon,” the young man mumbled, rubbing his eyes and realizing that his glasses had also disappeared at one point. “But thank you so much for this; I feel as if I am floating and for the first time in two years, I don’t feel like I have a few dozen knives in my back.” He stretched and nothing popped, but the two men took his arms and started rubbing them, cracking each of Q’s fingers before kissing his knuckles. “Oh God, I don’t want you two to ever stop touching me.”

 

They both chuckled, draping a big fluffy towel over him before rolling him on his back – and Q didn’t mind that his arousal was obvious, even feeling proud when he noticed the way the two kept glancing down – and lied by his sides. “They’ll have to cut off our limbs and tie us down to get us to stop touching you,” James promised and tilted Q’s head in his direction, kissing his nose, Alec throwing a leg over them and nuzzling his neck.

 

Without wanting, Q fell asleep and woke up feeling warm and safe, nestled between the two men, James snoring lightly and Alec’s ears twitching, the werewolf keeping watch over them even in his sleep. Careful not to wake them up, Q stretched to kiss their chins and snuggled better between them, resting his hand over the two that clasped over his arm, wishing that this could last forever.

 

***

Q could barely move. He was old, tired, almost completely blind and his hands shook. That bothered him the most because he couldn't make things to protect his lovers - husbands and mates in the eyes of the supernatural world. Well that and the fact that he was wasting away day by day and he saw how much it affected James and Alec, who aged at a much slower rate. By the time they got their first real wrinkle, he was going to be nothing but a pile of ash in the ground, he was sure.

 

"I'm leaving," he said a day before he turned 70, refusing to meet the two pairs of eyes he loved so much, the eyes that looked at him with sadness and regret when they thought he didn't see them.

 

James clicked his tongue and put the book he was reading down, gently taking Q's hand in his. "You always say that when we're  a few hours away from your birthday and every time Alec and I manage to make you change your mind." He placed soft kisses on the hands that had long lost their softness and squeezed them, pushing them against his chest. "Can we please skip over this year? You must be as bored of it by now as we are."

 

He was, he really was, but he couldn't stand it anymore. he couldn't stand seeing the old man that was reflected in the mirror and he couldn't stand the thought that one day, his lovers would wake up to an actual dead body next to them. They had long stopped touching each other in that intimate way they did when they were young, their passionate sex rounds now nothing more than careful kisses before bed. Not that Q was too upset about that, his libido non-existent at this point and his heart too weak to put up with the usage of that supposedly miracle pill - which he would have refused to take anyway since he didn't want Alec or James to think they weren't good enough for him to get it up anymore.

 

"I'm leaving," he said again, this time weaker than before, his eyelids too heavy for him to keep them open. "I'm leaving, although I think it's against my will." 

 

He realized that the two men were calling out to him, but he couldn't make out their words. Just that they sounded desperate and that breathing was no longer needed on his part. He felt sad that he was leaving and he wished their grip would be strong enough for him not to slip away and start to float.

 

He left and they stayed.

**Author's Note:**

> Someone compared it to something I really hated (no judge towards people who like it) so went with the first idea I had for this.


End file.
